The Good Kind of Blind Trust


I met my amazing husband of now seven years at the very end of four years of college. It’s terrifying to imagine how things could have gone had I chosen any other school.

I get frustrated by a lot of things. Partly because of my personality but mostly because I’m awake and paying attention. But the absolute biggest of those things, that kills me and physically rumples up my gut in empathetic pain and straight up frustration, is this: avoidable suffering. The kind of heart-crushing, life-disrupting suffering that can be fixed (or even could have been prevented altogether) ... had the sufferer just listened.

If you saw that someone healed from chronic illness—especially in a way that is super affordable comparatively speakingand you had a chronic illness, wouldn’t you just try it? If your Facebook friend kept posting memes and articles about “foods” that are terrible for you or little sharp things so many insist on inserting into their now-sick children, wouldn’t you maybe cut out that food and see if your stomach issues improve, or think twice about injecting poison? Especially if you remotely trust or look up to the person sharing this unpopular information?

How come we see a friend recommend a lipstick and we go buy it, someone randomly gushes about how great a movie is and we go see it, someone even recommends a prescription and we “ask our doctor” about it ... but if someone recommends something that can transform your misery or warns you against something that can inflict misery, we ignore it? Say we need to research it more (yeah right)? Say we need to get others’ views? Assume you’re being lied to? Say we like being miserable? Say we don’t have a choice? Say things can’t change?

Do you know why I went to the college I attended, where I ended up finding the love of my life?

Because I researched all the colleges on the east coast and it fit my preferences? Because it was affordable? Because it had my preferred major? Because I liked the color of the walls in the classrooms? Nope. Because my sister went there.

That’s it. I vaguely had thought about another a couple states away. But I didn’t overthink it. I just followed my big sister. And guess what: she was still there when I started there. I don’t know, there’s just this weird thing about someone going ahead of you and thereby making things calmer and smoother for you.... Crazy, right?

Honestly, if I’d thought harder about it, waited a couple years for my interests to develop more, or not had a sister, there’s a very good chance I would have gone elsewhere. Again, that is terrifying to imagine.

So, I don’t know, if someone who I remotely look up to who has first-hand experience or knowledge and nothing to gain from it says that something’s dangerous, I’m probably going to pay attention. If they share hope, I’m going to latch onto it. When such a person screams “DANGER” or “HOPE IS THIS WAY,” I don’t know, maybe it’s a good idea to listen. And avoid or fix your own suffering. 

Guess what: I’m freaking thankful for my sister. And that I just blindly followed someone I knew personally, with no ulterior motives for my following their lead. 

Maybe we would all benefit from being like blindly trusting little sisters now and then.

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